Fig. 1: A Cat
Went to Andrew’s place today. He has a cat now (see Figure 1). This is in addition to two dogs, both of which are somewhat hyperactive and seem to require constant attention. The cat does not require constant attention because he is a cat. Or she; I think it is a she. It only has three legs, which is one less than the factory standard. It is sort of like a plane in that if a plane with four engines loses one everything should still be fine. The cat has also has no name, so you can just call it “Cat” or anything else which you please. You could call it “Tripod”, but that would be a bit insensitive, and while I’ve never seen a cat cry, I don’t really want to start now. I imagine it would be a most awkward sight.
As far as cats go it is pretty good. I typically classify cats into two categories: those that attempt to claw your eyes out and those that do not. Cats which make no attempts on my life are considered satisfactory and aren’t really expected to do that much more. If you’re lucky they might rub some fur off onto your pants so that you may have the pleasure of spending the rest of the day picking it off. This cat, however, goes one step further. It is pretty friendly (and is so a traitor to its rather unsociable species). It sits on the table or on your lap, mewing away and makes the dogs very jealous. They run around and jump up on you and soon I expect they will learn to speak like on The Simpsons when the cat and dog were jealous of the attention that some other animal was receiving. I can’t remember whether it was the horse or the elephant, but if you have seen the episode you will know what I mean.
I used to have a cat. He was good when he was a kitten and one of my friends wrote a poem about him. Then he became horrid but died of obesity so everything worked out. I now have a dog, but to the extent of my knowledge, none of my friends have written poetry about her. My cat died on the first day of high school which was a bit depressing. I accidentally put on a long sleeved shirt that day instead of a short sleeved one and it was really hot so it wasn’t a good day to begin with. I got into the car and Mum told me that the cat had died. We didn’t like him very much but we cried anyway. Then we got a dog. Que sera sera and all that.